Benefits

When I facilitate my emotional Healing Through Forgiveness © workshops, I count it a privilege. At the beginning of each workshop, I share my story. The participants hear about my anger, my bitterness and my old grudges. They listen as I tell them about my arduous journey to forgiving. As they hear my story, they gain the courage and fortitude to share theirs. 

But not only that, hearing my story and seeing who I am today, gives them encouragement. As a matter of fact, I recently received the most complimentary compliment from one of the participants. They said, “It encourages me to see someone on the other side of unforgiveness.” 

Later, when I had time to reflect on this comment, I considered the ongoing work and benefits of forgiveness.

Long ago, I took the necessary steps to forgive my father for abandoning me byway of his suicide. Along with forgiving him, I also forgave my mother for lying and staying silent about my dad’s suicide. Then, I forgave my son for the anguish he caused during his rebellious teenage years. But forgiving these individuals was just the beginning of a transformation that continues today. 

The initial act of forgiveness initiates a change of mind for all of us. When we choose to forgive those who caused emotional pain in our lives, our thoughts toward them are altered. We do not disregard the harm we’ve felt, but rather we began seeing them differently. 

In my case, Dad, Mom and my son all did the best they could at the time. Though I needed more from them, they could not give me anymore than what they had. They’d done their best. Forgiving them meant I had to let go of the past and instead, focus on the present.  

And so began a new practice of thinking differently. Instead of ruminating on old rage, toxic animosity, and upsetting bitterness, I charted a new pathway in my brain. This new pathway started as I began meditating momentarily on God’s love, kindness, tenderheartedness, compassion and understanding. But as these moments of meditating lengthened, the less I thought about the past and those old hurts. 

Why Bother

Why bother with the benefits of forgiveness? There are many advantages to forgiving someone. When we forgive, then our long held grudges, lengthy list of resentments and the sour taste of bitterness begins leaving our minds and bodies. In place of those injurious thoughts, we  gain space for loving others, personal peace and a well-spring of contentment.

If you want to read my story A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness click on either link Redemption Press or Amazon.