Practice

From about the time our second born son was six until he was nearly eighteen, he took piano lessons. As a beginner, the music he played was simple, but as the years went on, the music became more complex and complicated. 

But, no matter how uncomplicated or complicated the piece of music his piano teacher assigned to him, she told him to practice every day. As he practiced, she told him that his whole body and mind would become accustomed to playing the piece. His fingers would move to the right keys, his body would feel the correct tempo and his ears would hear the right sound. In essence, practicing helped him to embody the music. Consequently, his piano teacher transformed our son into a musician.

As it is with practicing an instrument every day, so it is with practicing forgiveness everyday. Seven days a week, at every waking hour, we have ample opportunities to consider embodying the mindset of forgiveness.  

For example, take into consideration how many times we feel slightly slighted by another person on any given day. For instance, the driver who does not use their turn signal, the unfriendly grocery clerk who doesn’t look up and acknowledge our presence, or the person who takes “my” parking spot in the health club parking lot.  

Now reflect on the offenses that are greater than those superficial infringements. How do you feel when someone says they will call you back, but then they don’t. Do you feel unimportant and insignificant to them? Or what about the time when you knew others were getting invitations to a party, but you were not. Did you feel left out?  

As we practice forgiving the small offenses on a daily basis, when the bigger ones arise we can apply what we’ve practiced. Getting in the habit of responding with understanding and patience helps us to embody a mindset of forgiveness so that when those greater offenses arise, we can apply what we’ve already practiced. 

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once said that if we could read the history of our enemies we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. Though we may not be able to read another person’s history, but we  can relate to someone who, like us, is sometimes in a hurry, sometimes inconsiderate, or sometimes just having a terribly, horribly, rotten, no good day.

Why Bother?

Why bother practicing forgiveness? No matter how great or small the offense, if we practice forgiveness every day, we will become accustomed to responding with patience, understanding and kindness. With practice, we will embody forgiveness and be transformed into people who know how to forgive.