Ordinary Moments

We are still traveling and traveling together in the close confines of a vehicle during the day and sleeping within the limitations of a hotel room at night gives little space for concealing any of our idiosyncrasies, faking our emotions or giving a phoney answer. Instead, we have wide open opportunities for being truthful, gentle, and considerate of one another. 

Yes, even after forty some years of marriage, there is still room for growth in our relationship.

Consider a simple question, “Do you want to stop at “Four Corners?” Four Corners, where Arizona, Colorado, Utah and New Mexico, meet, is one of my fonder memories from childhood. I remember traveling there as a family, standing in the spot where the four states meet and though we didn’t take any pictures, the impression embedded itself in my mind. 

Looking at the map, I see that it is about 70 miles east of our destination, and yet, my husband is asking if I’d like to go there. It is an open invitation, an honest question and my answer is straightforward, “Yes. Yes, I’d like to stop there.”

And so we go, out of the way, pay the $16.00 fee, which I don’t remember being the case from back in the day, and stand in the spot where the four states come together. It is not a monumental moment, rather just an ordinary moment. 

By the way, truthfulness goes both ways. While in the Grand Canyon a day or so ago, my husband inquired, “How do you want to play out our time here?” I’d like to get out and hike, but knowing he’d not slept well the night before I asked him, “What do you need?” 

“Sleep,” was his simple answer. And so we find a quiet sunny space, recline our seats and close our eyes. It’s not a long snooze, just long enough for both of us to relax and maybe for one of us to go into that deeper, darker place of sleep where the snoring begins. Afterward, we take a hike and see the wondrous, grand sights.

Why Bother?

Why bother striving toward authenticity? For us, our pathway, as a couple, is to strive toward authenticity, day in and day out. Whether we are traveling or stationary, we both aim toward an honest relationship with each other. 

But, being truthful with one another also aids us with being truthful with God. As we practice honesty in the normal, regular and daily life of marriage, it makes bringing our true selves to God all that much easier. There really is no way to pull the wool over the eyes of God and really no reason to. Intimacy and honesty go hand in hand, whether with a mortal or with the Divine.