Perfectly Loved?

Knowing and remembering that we are perfectly loved by God frees us from our fears, not all at once, but with practice, over the course of time and one fear at a time.  

As an illustration: back at the beginning of my faith walk, I was floundering with an important decision. My “husband to be” had proposed to me for the third time and it scared me. Being the kind man that he is, and being the fearful woman that I was, I asked him, as I’d done before, for a little time to think about his proposal.

“Of course,” he said. 

So, I took my conundrum to God. I sensed I could talk to God about anything and knew that he already knew everything about me. And though I wasn’t sure how he’d answer me he did. It went a little bit like this-

God: What scares you so much about making the commitment to a marriage relationship?

Me: What if he abandons me like my dad did? 

God: Well, there are no guarantees of his love for you, but, my love for you is guaranteed.

Following on the heels of our marriage, the topic of children arose between my husband and me. At the time, I was working in a pre-school for handicapped children. While there, I was exposed to various scenarios that caused me to wonder: What if we had a child with Down’s Syndrome? What if our child was born deaf? What if our child was born with a physical deformity?

Once again, knowing God would listen and answer, I took my fears to God.  He simply reiterated to me that no matter what happened, I could be assured of his love for me. 

Then, there was the season that we raised our three sons on one income with monthly mortgage payments on the house. 

Going to the grocery store with our frugal budget in my mind lent itself to self-induced stress interspersed with little prayers. While tossing items into my cart I’d calculate what I was spending all the while wondering; what if I go over budget?

Inevitably, I went a little over the budget a few times, yet we always managed to pay the mortgage while never once going hungry. 

And though I no longer have those particular “what if” scenarios from days gone by, new ones rise up on occasion. 

For instance, during the twelve years I commuted twenty miles or more to work, I sometimes had the fear of getting a flat tire. But not once did that become a reality. Still I can be inundated by other dreadful thoughts such as, with our limited income, will we always be able to pay the property taxes that steadily rise each year?

Why Bother?

Why bother growing into love? After all the years of the various and worrisome scenarios that have come and gone through my head, am I convinced yet of God’s perfect love for me? I believe I am. And here is why. Those fears never stay long inside my head, but instead are tossed out when I recall just how perfect God’s love is for me.