Our sin wrecked world has a way of fracturing families. My father’s suicide did great damage to my family, but thankfully, there was an opportunity presented to all of us which led some of us to reconstruct our relationships with each other. 

    Receptive

Just before my dad ended his life, our family was dismembered. Dad admitted himself to a hospital to get help, while the rest of the family was parceled out. The two oldest were already living independently while the other five were not. Three stayed in Colorado, where at the time we were living. Friends of the family took them into their homes. Then Mom took my youngest brother and I back to Nebraska to live with Grandma. 

With Dad’s departure to the hospital and the rest of us parceled out, the unity of our family, as we knew it, ended. Consequently, all communication between us was severed. We were cut off from each other’s lives and ultimately, from each other. 

Then, Dad’s death fractured our relationships even more. Though Mom brought us back together under one roof, she denied us the privilege of knowing and talking freely about the truth. Instead, Dad’s suicide became our family’s secret.

Secrets sever trust and without trust, relationships disintegrate. Thankfully though, this is not where my family’s story ends. 

As is the natural course of life, each of my siblings and I did our best to go on living. Some of us went to college, others to trade school. Some of us  married and started families, while others remained single. A few of us lived near one another while others lived farther apart. Some of us cautiously attempted to renew our relationships while others kept their distance. 

Though I never imagined reconciling with most of my family, miraculously, four years ago, it happened and I almost missed the opportunity. 

One of my sisters had an idea for all of us to stay in touch. She set up a weekly conference call that we could all dial into if we wanted. 

At first, her idea seemed ludicrous. There were too many of us. All of us knew how to talk, but none of us were very good listeners. Just imagining all of us on the phone at the same time made me feel uneasy. But, eventually with the encouragement from another sibling, I took the risk and dialed in and have never regretted my decision. 

Since then, over the course of conversing, we’ve all become better listeners. Our broken trust is mended and relationships are renewed. 

Opportunities for reconciliation can present themselves at various times and in a variety of ways. We may not recognize them at first glance, but if we consider that we are made for relationships and they begin with family, we may be more receptive to the work of reconciliation. 

Why bother reconciling? We never know when, where or how relationships might be restored, but if we are open to the possibility, we open ourselves up to something miraculous.