Misconceived Ideas

I know that by the time I reached my early adolescent years, I’d already formed quite a few ideas, in my subconscious, about life in general. But I did not examine any of those particular notions until I was forced to consider: Why is it that I think this way?

One of my distorted points of view had to do with marriage. Because my father had abandoned my mother and the rest of the family, via his suicide, I thought all men were distrustful. Consequently, it took three marriage proposals from the same man, before I finally said, “Yes.”

Then, after only three years of marriage, I began to doubt my decision. The novelty of my infatuation had worn off and marriage was not what I’d thought it should be. Striving toward unity with my husband proved to be more arduous than I thought it ought to be.

 As a result, another perverted belief surfaced: If things do not get better, I can always get a divorce. This secret scheme of mine originated from the philosophy of the day that divorce was acceptable, common and ordinary. 

How did I alter my thinking? What changed my mind? How come I’m still married? How come I still like my husband? Why has our marriage grown sweeter over the years? 

Changed Perspective

Before we can alter any one of our ideas or deem it as a fallacy, fabrication, distortion, or truth, we have to notice its implications on our life. If I take my notion and project it into the future, where will it lead me? 

If I’d gone forward with the idea that no man is trustworthy, I could have been a single woman. If I’d gone forward with the notion that I could divorce because marriage was too hard, then I would have been a divorced woman. But those were two options that I knew, beyond a shadow of doubt, I did not want. I wanted to live happily ever after.

With this in mind, when I was considering marriage proposals from the man who loved me, I was a newbie in my faith. Newbies are novices. We believe God, but with more timidity than confident expectations. But even as a newbie, I was willing to believe God when he conveyed to me that although I could not predict the future, my future did not hinge on my past. 

A little further on in my faith and a little more confidence, as I considered divorcing my husband, God’s gentle spirit told me the truth about myself. As long as I was thinking about divorce, I was not thinking about staying with my husband. But, if I stopped thinking about divorce, I’d find a different perspective. And I did.

Why Bother?

Why bother noticing misconceptions? Distorted images have the potential to wreak havoc in our lives. Once we notice our fallacies we can replace them with truth, and then live happily ever after.