Understanding and Forgiveness

The other day, my granddaughter and her family came to dinner. Although my granddaughter, Asher, started out wearing jeans, a long sleeved sweatshirt, and tennis shoes, by the time the evening had ended, she’d peeled off her outer layer to a pair of shorts, a short sleeved t-shirt and bare feet. Her shorts and bare feet made it easier for her to climb trees, play catch and run foot races with her brother in the backyard. 

Then, before going home, she showed me the wounds she’d accumulated. On her knee there was a small cut and bruise from falling on the pavement and some skin from one of her big toes was torn back because she’d encountered the sharp metal threshold of the garage door. She assured me that she did not need any peroxide, but she did accept a band-aid for her toe.

Although God could have created us impervious to bruises, scrapes and tears, our skin, though tough, is not impenetrable. Our nerve endings tell us when we’ve been gouged, bumped, or stabbed so that we can tend to the wound. 

Tending to the Wound

Because we are human, not only does our outer layer, the skin, bear the marks of physical injuries, but our inward souls also carry impressions of emotional hurts. 

For as long as humans are human, we will feel the inward sting of an offense, a let down or a disappointment. But, like our outer wounds, those inward wounds give us the opportunity to take a look and tend to them. When we do, we can choose to react with feelings of revenge, or respond with understanding and forgiveness.  

There was a time in my life when our oldest son’s teenage antics of rebellion were wreaking havoc in our family. As with any teenager’s mind, there was a minuscule amount of remorse for his actions, but not enough to change anything. Instead, he continued in his cycle of what I considered would be his self-destruction. 

It was during a particularly ugly confrontation with him, that instead of considering my choice to understand and forgive him, I was instead filled with a strong urge to hurt him. I wanted him to feel what I was feeling; deep emotional pain. When I recognized that like him, I too could hurl some pain his way, I was frightened enough to change my way. And so began my journey to forgiveness. 

Why Bother?

Why bother to stop and think? None of us are immune from feeling the inward sting of an offense, a disappointment, or let down. But paying back a hurt with a hurt does not heal. It only perpetuates more hurt. When we stop and think, then we can consider responding with understanding and forgiveness instead of reacting with revenge.