Reminded

Even while on vacation, I make it a point to find a yoga class who welcomes drop-ins

 such as myself. Consequently, I found myself welcomed into a class, by the instructor whose class was entitled,“Blissful Yoga.”

This title did not exactly give me a good description of what to expect, nonetheless, being a yoga teacher myself and having a daily yoga practice, I was not intimidated. I knew I could “hold my own,” so to speak. And yet, I was unexpectedly surprised by what I learned.  

This blissful yoga class, I discovered, was not so much about moving through a flow of yoga poses, or asanas, which I was prepared to do. Instead, it had more to do with hands-on assistance from the teacher. I’m not opposed to hands-on assistance, I’ve experienced that from other instructors. So I nodded my head, acknowledging to this teacher, that it would be fine to receive her assistance. 

Though the asanas in this blissful yoga class were very familiar to the ones I teach in my Yin class, the hands of this teacher were unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. 

As the instructor instructed the class to move into a supine twist, my body took on the shape of the twist, but when I felt the teacher’s hands on my hip and the gentle pressure she applied to my shoulder, I was suddenly reminded of my deeper layers, the ones that are much harder to release. 

Previous Addictions

My yoga practice has taught me many things, but the blissful yoga class I recently attended awakened some memories; my addiction to mistrust. 

Yes, there is such a thing as being addicted to an idea, and shedding our dependencies, whether physical or conceptual, is a long-term commitment. 

One never knows when one will be tempted by an old addiction. Having the hands on assistance, as I did in that blissful yoga class, I was tempted to resist the truth, the truth of my tendency to not trust. 

I could have resisted those gentle hands. I could have held back from the goodness that comes from letting go. I was tempted to combat her honest touch. But I didn’t. Instead, I knew that I had reached yet another layer that needed releasing. And though I want to say that I’m all done with mistrust, that would be a lie. None of us are ever done with letting go of our old ideas and we are always in need of assistance. To think otherwise would be arrogant. 

Why Bother?

Why bother to keep on trusting? When I am tempted to mistrust, then I’m also reminded that when I decided to accept Jesus’ invitation for a personal relationship, it also meant I’d hang in there with God and with myself. Layer by layer, and with hands-on assistance, I will do what it takes to keep on trusting.