black and white photo of three friends

Why Bother Striving Toward Harmony?

Joyful When…

Though my husband and I never discussed the number of children we wanted, we both knew we wanted more than one. About the time I began feeling confident as the mother of one child, we began thinking of trying for our second child. 

I harbored a few concerns with having a second child; how would our first born respond?  Would he like or dislike his new sibling? Would he be jealous or infatuated? Would he accept a new sibling or reject them?

As much as possible, I prepared our oldest son for the arrival of his new sibling by talking with him about how he’d be the big brother in the family and how important that role was. 

Seven days before our first born’s fourth birthday, his little brother was born. The fears I’d had; liking, disliking, jealous or infatuated, accepting or rejecting, all disappeared. Our first born loved, accepted and was captivated by his new little brother. 

The older son cared for and protected the younger one. He’d push him in the tire swing, but not too high. He’d gently guide him away from the danger of crawling up the stairs, and whenever the little one cried, the bigger one made him laugh. 

Seeing how careful and caring my older son was with his little brother, brought joy to my heart. 

When Discord Reigns

But alas, as they grew older, we added another male child to the mix, wrangling, arguing and bickering, sometimes, ensued among them. 

I understood the reasons for their quarrels. Though they were all members of the same family, they were not the same. Appreciating one another’s differences would come in their futures, but as youngsters, they were impatient and demanding with each other.

Minor infractions such as not sharing the back seat of the car equally; “You’re taking up too much space! Scoot over!” was a major violation to them. 

Sharing was not easy or natural. “You didn’t ask permission to use my skateboard!” 

And then there were regular reminders from the older one to the younger ones; “I’m older than you so you have to obey me.” 

The discord was difficult for everyone. Thankfully it did not last forever. As they’ve grown into men, their thinking has matured. They encourage and help each other out. 

 Some Truths to Consider

Yes, we have different points of view, but our points of view do not have to be divisive. Respecting each other’s differences goes a long way in establishing harmony. Seeing someone’s need and responding to it softens contention. 

We do not have to be afraid that being in union with someone will remove our uniqueness. We don’t have to worry that being like minded and of one accord means we are the same. There is no one else quite like us and yet, we can respect those that are not quite like us. 

Why Bother?

Why bother striving toward harmony? Like a mother, our heavenly Father is pleased when his kids get along.

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