Relish?

My husband, the house builder, has incurred a few injuries over the course of his career; severing a finger, hyper extending one of his knees and most recently, a frozen shoulder. 

I am not known for my compassion, pity or mercy. But, when he told me about his frozen shoulder, I felt sympathy. What’s happened to me?

I remember the day when I got a call while at work, from my husband’s boss. “Luke’s been injured. Meet me at the emergency room.”

Seeing my husband lying on a gurney and holding his hand close to his chest I was scared, not sympathetic. The day I took him to the emergency room because he’d hyperextended his knee I felt inconvenienced, not compassionate. 

An injury meant a disruption. My routine would change. I was okay with a certain amount of change for a short amount of time. But the extended period of time that it took for him to heal from the aforementioned physical impairments, well, to be quite honest, his healing took too long.  

The severed finger was reattached by surgery but it was months before he resumed working. The hyperextended knee did not require surgery, just an extended amount of rest. 

Consequently, both times, while he rested and recuperated, I begrudgingly waited for him to heal. At the time, relishing him did not enter into my thinking at all.

What’s Changed?

My latest response of sympathy surprised me.  I had to wonder, where did this sympathy come from? How come it came so naturally? How come I didn’t have to conjure it up? 

The only thing I can conclude is that I finally relish my husband, even when my life is disrupted by something such as another injury. 

It is easy to cherish, adore, and be grateful for others when everything is running smoothly and according to our plans, it is more of a challenge to feel the same way when things change. 

As my husband spent time on the couch healing from his severed finger and later his hyperextended knee, I couldn’t rely on him for anything. Consequently, I wondered, what good is he if he can’t do anything for me? Today, I realize the high volume of selfishness that thought carried, but back then, I didn’t. How then, did this awful, selfish kind of thinking change? 

Thought patterns do not change overnight, but they do change over time. Thought patterns do not change on their own, but they do change with practice. Consequently, after reading more than one book on the topic of gratitude, I started thinking about who and what I am grateful for. My husband made it to the top of that list. 

Why Bother?

Why bother relishing those around us? When we become grateful for those who are around us, relishing them becomes natural, even when inconvenienced. 

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.