Although people may use a Q-Tip to clean their ears, wipe away a smear of mascara or even for an arts and craft project, I did not know that Q-Tip is also an acronym for; quit taking it personally. But now that I know, it will be easy to remember.

            Why?

First of all, I’d have to ask, “What makes people take things so personally?” From personal experience, when I am offended by someone’s comment it usually originates with a misunderstanding. What exactly did they mean when they said…? The best way to clear up a misunderstanding is to ask the person, “What exactly did you mean when you said…” or another way to put it, “Could you explain what you meant when you said…” 

More often than not, what the person meant and what you thought they meant are two different things. Clearing up the matter with a question is quite frankly, the easiest way to get clarification. 

Not all offenses stem from a misunderstanding. Sometimes a stinging comment can originate from someone who knows us well and purposefully sends a zinger our way just to get a reaction from us. 

 I once had a brother-in-law who knew how to get my dander up by poking fun at anyone of my weak spots. My husband would always tell me, “Don’t take it so personally.” Eventually, I learned not to and instead of reacting in anger, I started to ignore his cutting remarks and in time, they diminished. 

Finally, sometimes the comment that is made about us is true, and it strikes a chord. But, depending on how it was delivered will depend upon our response. 

If the comment is unkind the unkindness overshadows the truth. In other words, truth delivered in kindness is better received than truth delivered with unkindness. 

I’ve had the best, most meaningful and honest talks about my personal faults with my husband and my best friend. They both know me well, but have not used this knowledge against me. They do not poke fun at my faults nor do they use subtle or not so subtle sarcasm with me. Instead, they approach me with gentle and kind words and ease me into the conversation they need to have with me. Because I trust them and because I know they have my best interest in mind, these types of talks are always worthwhile and productive. 

Why bother Q-Tipping? Learning to quit taking it personally, is definitely a process that is worth our time. First, consider if it is a misunderstanding that needs clarification, then clarify it. Secondly, consider the comment as one that may or may not need commenting about. Finally, if the zinger hits home and it hurts, consider the sender. Was it sent with unkind intentions? Then let it go. Was it with kind intentions? Then consider a conversation with the person. Q-Tipping is like any other form of communication; it takes time to learn or in some cases, unlearn.