Communicating by Listening

Communicating is key. If the information we’re trying to pass on isn’t understood, there is a communication gap. What we want to say, to whom we want to say it, and how we say it are important pieces of connecting with others.

Listening to each other is another key to communication. 

There are four listening styles. 

Some of us are content-oriented listeners. We pay attention to the information the other person is telling us for planning purposes. 

The other day, one of my yoga students told me about some back pain she was experiencing. Knowing this, I altered the yoga flow to accommodate her.

People-oriented listeners focus on the speaker’s feelings, empathy, and supportive feedback. 

I am genuinely interested in other people. When I listen, I want to understand what the person is saying and give them support if I can. Sometimes, though, people use too many words, and I get bogged down by the details. 

I took a little quiz and discovered my listening style. I’m an action-oriented listener. I’m interested in the information a speaker gives me so I can understand their problem. I like helping people solve their issues by suggesting steps they could take.

I need to remember that not everyone who communicates with me is looking for someone to help them solve their issues. Sometimes people just need a sounding board. 

The final style of listening is the time-oriented listener. They are efficient, want you to be brief, and expect you to get to the point quickly.

I used to be this kind of listener. Then I became a mom, and later an elementary school teacher. 

Kids do not think about being efficient communicators. They go into great detail without worrying about the point of what they are saying. Kids are not in a hurry, and neither should the listener be.

Why Bother?

Why bother communicating by listening? When my yoga student told me about her back pain, it was listening that allowed me to help her. Whatever your style, start by listening.