Mistrust

We’ve all trusted someone at some point in our lives; mother, father, brother, sister, grandparent or spouse. The relationship with them lent itself to our assured reliance and our confident dependence upon them. Then, because of a particular circumstance such as a divorce, death, a broken promise, abuse, abandonment or their sudden absence from our lives we consciously or unconsciously conceived mistrust.

Mistrust is a mindset. Those who are mistrusting believe that others are guilty until proven innocent. Mistrusters are full of doubt, skepticism, misgivings, and reservations. Mistrusters wear a hard protective shell around their tender vulnerable heart and yet at the same time, hope and desire to be able to trust someone once again. 

I know this because I was once a mistruster. 

When I was thirteen, my father ended his life by suicide. Along with Dad, my ability to trust died and was buried. Mistrust rose up in its place.

Broken trust is one of the most disheartening and devastating experiences. It permeates our lives, becomes our way of life, and taints all our relationships.

I was once addicted to cigarettes, falsely believing that nicotine filled a need I had while at the same time it was killing me slowly. In like fashion, I believed that mistrust was my protector from any further emotional harm. 

Instead, mistrust limited my life. It surrounded me with fear, confined me, and made my life really small. 

In my early twenties, I finally put an end to trusting in mistrust. I had to. Mistrust took me as far as it could and then left me with two choices; putting an end to my miserable, small life or accepting an invitation from God to live a bigger, fuller life.  

I chose to learn how to live a bigger, fuller life directed by the One who gave me life in the first place.

It is a little uncanny that my relationship with God requires the very thing that died and was buried when I was thirteen; trust. But trust is a definite requirement in any personal worthwhile relationship. 

Why Bother?

Why bother knowing that mistrust is not the answer? Mistrust cannot replace the beauty and benefits that accompany a trusting relationship. Only assured reliance and confident dependence produce worthwhile, beautiful and beneficial relationships. 

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, experienced a tragedy in life, but do not want their life to become a tragedy. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.