Everybody needs a break from their brain every now and then again. As a kid it was called “nap time.” In the adult world, employers schedule coffee and lunch breaks as well as vacation time for their employees. But do we ever really give ourselves the luxury of a brain break, namely from the incessant commentator that comes from the inner critic?

Who is This Inner Critic?

Though I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or a counselor, I have encountered my own inner critic often enough to recognize its presence and its voice. It is always, and I mean always, critical. Regardless of how well I think I am doing my job, the inner critic says I should or could do it better. The niggling voice assures me that I’ve not reached the imaginary benchmark that has been set. 

But, that is the inner critic’s job; to make the benchmark as nebulous as it can, keep it as a moving target, as well as indescribable. I suppose that is why the inner critic thinks it can get away with so much; it has no foundation, no boundaries and no rules. It never relocates to a new zip code, it never grows old, or dies. 

We can count on this commentator showing up when we feel the most vulnerable, uncertain, and when the stakes for failure are high. 

It says, “If you were a better teacher…, if you were a true friend…, if you really cared about your husband, kids, or siblings then…” Then what? 

And that one question is what needs to be deconstructed before it brings destruction upon us. 

If I truly was a devoted wife, an amazing employee or a marvelous friend, then would  everyone like me, would my life be free from conflicts, or would I have oodles of confidence? 

The second question that perhaps we need to consider debunking, is where does that “perfect” image originate from?

Did you know that Betty Crocker, whose beautiful, peaceful and lovely face represents recipes we can trust, is not a real person? I don’t remember how old I was when I discovered this truth, but it was a bit like hearing from an older sibling that Santa Claus did not exist. 

Betty’s wholesome face is fictitious. She is not authentic. She was created by artists at General Mills. Her image became an icon people trusted. But, she is not real. None of us will ever be Betty because Betty does not exist. 

And so it is with whatever image our inner critic is telling us we need to strive toward. Reaching for what we are not, and can never be, only causes us to fall out of our present reality.  

Why bother giving your brain a break? Better yet, how do we silence our inner critic? For just this day, let’s consider ruminating about what is real, true, and authentic. Then maybe our commentator will decide to take the day off.