Our Past

Recently while traveling, I drove on a new section of highway that was rebuilt after a fatal accident. Now, instead of going around a very sharp, narrow curve, the road is wider, straighter and much safer. It is too bad that it took a fatal accident for the road to be improved, but in this case, that is what it took.

Remembering the way the road used to be and how it is now reminds me that death has a way of shifting our lives around. Although no one comes back to life after they’ve died, their death can cause those who are left to live on, to live differently. 

July 5 is a day that my siblings and I recall. No matter the amount of time that goes by, we all remember it as the day our dad ended his life. Although each of us experienced grief because of his suicide, none of us experienced grief in the same way. 

At the time of his death, I was a young teen. Along with the emotional pain stemming from the unexplainable absence of my father, there was the shame that grew out of my mother’s silence. She could not speak to any of us about our dad’s suicide. 

As a result, I did not know how or what to think about his death except to take it as a personal rejection.

Consequently, though I survived his death, my life did not thrive until years later. In my early twenties, I came to a juncture where I realized that I needed two things. First, I needed to put my trust in Someone besides myself and secondly, I needed to forgive my dad for the choice he made. 

Fortunately, when I came face to face with both of these needs I was ready to make the choice to trust and the choice to forgive. 

Why Bother?

Why bother forgiving people from our past? It is never too late to forgive. Forgiving others frees us from the shackles that unforgiveness wraps around us. Unforgiveness constricts and limits our lives. Forgiveness sets us free.

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.