Our Propensities

I like how Caroline Leaf, author of Switch on Your Brain Every Day, says that our past creates a predisposition, not a destiny. Consequently, I believe that we all have the choice to choose who we become. 

My six siblings and I all grew up in the same household with the same parents, yet we all inherited our own set of unique predispositions. 

Take for example, one of my brothers and me. Recently, I had the opportunity to converse with him over breakfast. Asking him how he was doing he related to me a personal obstacle he was wrestling with. When he finished telling me the details, I told him, among other things, that he needed to quit enabling people. 

My brother ate his breakfast while I continued telling him exactly what I believed he needed to do and how he needed to do it. When I finished my tyrannical discourse, he sat back and smiled. His response went something like this, “I knew I could count on you to chew my ass out.”

Though I hadn’t meant to, that is exactly what I’d done. Apologizing to him I said, “You know you have the propensity to enable others while I know I have the propensity to chew others out.” He nodded his head in agreement. 

Both these predispositions; enabling others and telling others what they ought to be doing are just two examples of the predispositions that originated from our parents which most likely originated from their parents. 

The important thing about our proneness, predilection, and proclivities is not that we know from whom we acquired them. Instead, the important thing is that we get to decide what to do with our tendencies, bents, and inclinations when they show up.  

Who hasn’t said that they do not want to turn out like Mom or Dad? Yet, we can’t help to turn out to be somewhat like them. But, we do get to choose which attributes we want to emulate and which ones we want to discard.  

Not everything I inherited from my folks is something I want to ditch. Dad was very tenderhearted, while Mom knew how to make friends. Qualities worth reproducing. 

Why Bother?

Why bother evaluating our propensities? No matter our family history, we don’t have to let it create our destiny. Instead, as we evaluate our propensities, we can choose which ones to keep and which ones to let go. By the power of personal choice, we can choose who we become. 

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.