man on top o a mountain

Why Bother Believing?

Before I was very old, I had three strikes against me. First, I was a child of an alcoholic. Secondly, I was a suicide survivor. Finally, I lived in a single parent home. Not the best of circumstances for one to grow and thrive.  

        Struck Down, But Not Out

Alcoholism and suicide, though personal choices, effects everyone in the family to some degree or another. 

During a recent conversation with one of my brothers he mentioned that he has to guess at what normal behavior is. His remark reminded me of other behaviors that are attributed to adult children of alcoholics; impulsiveness, the feeling that we are different, we crave approval, we have the tendency to judge ourselves harshly, and we take ourselves very seriously. 

Add to that some of the common behaviors of suicide survivors; delayed grief, isolation, false guilt, and depression. Then there is the fall out of living in a single parent home; depression, stress, poverty and instability. 

Living in such an environment made me feel like I was dog paddling against a strong current and old, even as a teenager. How did I survive the odds against me, and thrive?

I’ve always believed that someone must have prayed for me. Even though I don’t know how prayer works, I know that it must, otherwise, I would have ended my life a long time ago. I would’ve, could’ve, followed in my Father’s footsteps. But I didn’t. 

Instead, I believed in the One who offered me life, instead of choosing death. Realizing my need, I said, “yes,” to an invitation when doubts prevailed. 

From that moment on, my life became a life far beyond anything I’d imagined, which is exactly how life should be when we are loved perfectly. 

I knew my father loved me. But when he ended his life, his love for me came to an end. Imperfect love falls short of perfect love. 

But, perfect love goes on indefinitely. There is no limit to its depth, length, breadth or height. It is immeasurable, yet real. It surpasses our imagination, but when accepted, it becomes believable. 

Why bother believing? When we believe the One who loves us, then love changes everything about us. 


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