Blessed With Support

I know what it feels like to be without support. I know what it feels like to be left alone to figure things out. I know what it is like to expect help from others, and not get what I need. 

After my father’s death by suicide, I was left to grieve by myself. There was no help, no guidance, and no one to talk to. I was thirteen.

I grappled with the normal adolescent feelings such as confusion, anger, and fear. But these feelings were intensified by the trauma of my father’s suicide.

Going through grief and trauma on my own, I learned some bad habits: distrusting others along with a fierce independence. But as I grew into adulthood, I learned to take a risk and trust others. Consequently, I’m learning to break those bad habits and discovering the blessings that come with receiving support from others when they offer. 

When someone offers to support me with any one of my endeavors, my first response is to think that I can do it myself. Most likely I can. 

But then I think again. If they are offering their help, why not accept it? I can think of reasons to not accept: What if they don’t really mean what they say? What if they don’t follow through? What if they don’t do it the way I think it ought to be done? 

Some years back, I needed to have a medical procedure. I called my oldest sister, a retired nurse, to get some clarification of the medical jargon. She offered to come and be with me during the procedure. I accepted.

I was conscious during the ordeal and my sister stood beside me while carrying on an informative conversation with the physician.

Afterward, we drove to a restaurant, had a beer and a burger and a wonderful conversation about our sisterhood.

The next day she drove me to the next phase of the minor operation and she stood beside me again and through the conversation with the physician, explained what was happening. 

Her presence, her help, and her attentiveness were a contrast to being left alone and on my own. I trusted her and she came.  

Why Bother?

Why bother being blessed with support? I know what it feels like to be left alone. I know what it feels like to have someone’s help. To accept someone’s support is to accept their blessing of care, concern and comfort.