Reconciliation?

At the start of our marriage, my husband and I were horrible communicators. Whenever  a conflict arose we’d both go mute. Our silence was not golden. The tension between us was as taunt as a tight rope and could last for days. 

Thankfully, we are no longer horrid communicators because we discovered the sweetness of reconciliation.

More often than not, the conflicts that arose between my husband and me originated from an unmet expectation. 

For instance, several years ago, when our sons were still young, I’d anticipated something special and wonderful on Mother’s Day orchestrated by my husband. But, I was terribly disappointed. No one even remembered that it was Mother’s Day and I was not going to be the one to remind them.

Instead, I went through the motions of the day, squelching my disheartenedness and pretending I wasn’t displeased. It was a terrible, horrible, no good day and by Monday morning, I wasn’t speaking to my husband. Of course he was clueless, taken aback and a little confused. He left for work scratching his head.

His recovery was quicker than I’d expected though. When he came home from work that Monday evening, I was making dinner. He handed me a card and then went to take a shower. Inside the envelope was a Mother’s Day card. Inside the card he’d written, “I’m sorry I was such a _______________.”

I had a good laugh and a good cry both at the same time. In a matter of moments, with only a few words, the tension between us was gone. 

It only takes one person to become offended, angry or resentful while it takes two to reconcile an offense. To reconcile means that the one who was offended is willing to receive from their offender what the offender is offering them; peace. 

I’d definitely wanted to be remembered by my family on Mother’s Day. Instead, I’d been forgotten. As much as I wanted to not hold a grudge against my husband, I had anyway. But, that grudge went away as soon as I accepted his peace offering; the card and his acknowledgement of being a _______________.

Why Bother?

Why bother with reconciliation? Reconciling with someone requires us to compromise, to be receptive, and agree when someone extends their peace offering. We don’t have to reconcile, but whenever possible, I do because I know it can result in something sweet. 

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.