Honesty

One of my sisters has an endearing name for me. Sometimes she calls me Frank.

She does so because she knows that she can count on me to be truthful with her. I value my relationship with this sister of mine because not everyone is as earnest as she is about nurturing an honest relationship with me. 

Honesty is an admirable, valuable and desirable virtue, but it is not always easy to cultivate with others and frankly to cultivate honesty with others, we have to first cultivate an honest relationship with ourselves. 

Learning to be honest with ourselves begins with respecting and accepting ourselves for where we are right now. 

For example, when I began my personal journey of forgiveness, I was middle aged, but my emotions were stuck around the developmental age of 13, the time of my father’s suicide.

I was honest with myself in saying that I was emotionally ignorant, but belittling myself about this ignorance was not a profitable endeavor. Whenever I told myself that I should be more mature, it did nothing to hurry my process of forging my way toward forgiveness. Scolding myself, such as I did, only intensified my feelings of shame. 

Then, during one of my many conversations with God about my desire for wisdom and guidance, God impressed upon my heart the idea of patience. Being patient myself, I discovered,  was the opposite of badgering myself into forgiving before I understood that I needed to forgive. 

This honesty stuff, you just never know where it may lead, except that it just keeps leading us to being more and more honest. 

Consequently, as we learn about the depths of honesty with ourselves, we may revel in those rare opportunities that arise whenever someone invites us into an honest relationship with themselves. 

You just never know who will call you Frank, but when they do, I’d count it as a compliment. 

Why Bother?

Why bother with honesty? Honesty is one of those virtues that adds depth to our relationships.

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.