Community

Today begins a whole new year as well as a new theme. January’s blogs will feature the topic of relationships. Why bother with them? They are unpredictable, messy and complicated. But even those who choose to live off grid and in the wild and untamed parts of the country cannot get away from having to interact with others to some degree or another. 

We were not created to live in isolation. On the contrary, we were created to live and move and have our being with others. Finding where we belong and fit into a community can be challenging, but it is doable.

I was born into an already established social community; my family. I had brothers and sisters, two parents, two grandmothers, one grandfather, fourteen cousins, an assortment of aunts and uncles as well as great aunts and uncles. 

Then there was the close circle of my parent’s friends, their advocates, the ones they asked to be godparents of their offspring. 

All these different people, directly and indirectly, helped me understand the spoken and unspoken requirements of being a member of a community.

The ground rules, or common courtesies, which seemed to be across the board no matter where I went or who I encountered, were fairly easy to follow. 

Manners mattered; please, thank you, no thank you, and yes please were universally accepted, expected and appreciated phrases. Adults were to be respected, especially parents, grandparents and teachers. Even though it was never mentioned that I had to like everyone, respect for everyone was still a requirement. 

Though the family was my immediate mainstay of social interactions, my parents also had friends whom they’d invite in for dinner; the blind jazz piano player, the exchange student from India and a host of elderly men and women from our community at large. 

It wasn’t until I was in 5th grade that I began to establish my own social circle and even then, those who I named as my friends were put through my mom’s scrupulous grid, helping me to discern a good influencer, and poor one. 

I learned a lot about what constitutes a community, the influence of a community, and the benefits of being a part of a community by being in community with others. It is no wonder that I find myself still in community with others and not in isolation.

Even today, I believe that living in concert with others in a social context requires some of the same ground rules and common courtesies which still seem to be across the board no matter where I go or whom I encounter. 

Manners still matter; please, thank you, no thank you, and yes please are still acceptable, hoped for and appreciated phrases. And even though we may not like everyone, respect for everyone is still a precedent worth sustaining. 

Even though times have changed, people remain humans and humans have the same needs as always; to be loved and treated kindly. 

Why Bother?

Why bother with community? Being in community gives us the opportunity to practice giving and receiving love and kindness.

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who need clarity when it comes to understanding forgiveness. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.