A Few Better Choices

Recently, I saw a man standing on a busy street corner holding a sign that read, “I’d rather beg than steal.”

His message reminded me of one of the times in my life, when I have also thought I had only two choices; neither one of them being any good. 

Even in the most dire of circumstances, we actually have more than just two choices. But discovering a third choice begins with considering the choices we made that helped us to arrive in the devastating, woeful and crippling circumstances in the first place. 

There was a time, in my early twenties, when I arrived at a crossroads where I could only fathom two choices. 

Since my father’s suicide, ten or so years prior, I’d made it a point to rely on myself more than anyone else. Making the decisions to move far away from home, going to college and pursuing a career had given me independence, but not happiness. 

One night, after receiving yet another rejection letter from one of the many  companies I’d applied to for a job, I sat alone in my yard looking out toward the lake and considered my options. 

I was tired of living the way I lived. It lacked peace, contentment, hope and joy. It also required vigilance to maintain my pseudo confidence. My choices, I thought, boiled down to two. I could go on living in what felt like a miserable life or, I could end my life, just as my father had. 

Like the man on the busy street corner, neither of my choices seemed palatable, profitable, or favorable. But in my state of mind, those were the only two choices I could perceive. 

While ruminating on how I’d swim out to the middle of the lake and silently sink to the bottom, I heard an audible voice saying, “You could choose life.” I turned around expecting to see the preacher I’d heard a few days prior. 

After having held God at bay for several years, a friend had invited me to church. What the preacher had to say resonated with me and I thought that perhaps he had come to pay me a visit. But there was no one there.

Turning back around to resume my musing of how I’d end my life, I saw an image that I’ve never forgotten. 

Jesus stood on top of a wall, and tossed a rope down to me saying, “Grab hold and I’ll help you over the wall.” Then Just as suddenly as everything had appeared, everything disappeared, including my thoughts of suicide.

This experience left me with a third option I’d never considered; to live life differently, to walk by faith following the One who offered me life. 

Like me, the man on the busy street corner really does have more than just those two choices he thinks he has. 

Why Bother?

Why bother waking up to a few better choices? We limit ourselves when we think we only have the choices we can think of. Inviting God into our lives opens up a plethora of  possibilities.

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.