Which Way Should I Go?

Once I lost a houseboat. It was embarrassing. On board was a whole company of family members; my three older sisters, my husband, three sons, a brother-in-law and two nephews. 

Though there was plenty of room for everyone on the houseboat, my husband understood that I still needed my space. Consequently, I’d be the first to roll out of bed and tip toe my way off the boat to take a walk. 

I never went far, just far enough to sit in silence and take in the wonders of God.

The day I got lost was not unlike any other morning. I’d walked toward the east, took off my dayback and sat down in the sand. I’d read from my Bible, written in my notebook and as the sun crested over the horizon, breathed in peace and contentment. 

Putting my things back in my pack, I retraced my footprints in the sand. But when I reached the edge of the cliff and looked down into the water, I could not see the boat. I walked back to where I’d sat, and then again walked toward the water. I’d expected to see the boat this time, but did not. 

The level of Lake Powell that year was at an all time low and I’d climbed higher and had walked farther away from it than I’d thought. From where I stood on the cliff, the boat was nowhere to be seen, tucked into a crevice and out of sight. I had no idea which way to go. 

Coming to terms with the fact that I’d lost the boat caused me to crumple to my knees, bow my head toward the sand and squeak out a prayer “Show me the way God.” 

Though I’d hoped the boat would suddenly come into sight, it did not. Instead, it took a whole day for me to hike over to the other side of the bay from where we’d moored the boat and camped, before I finally found the boat and my family.  

Finding My Way Again

This scenario from my past reminds me of my journey to forgiveness. I was uncertain of the direction I should take that would lead me to freedom from my recurring anger, the load of resentments I carried and the grudges that tainted all my relationships. 

When I became aware of my need to change, I crumpled to the floor, rested my head on the carpet and squeaked out a familiar prayer “Show me the way God.” 

Just as I’d trusted God to show me how to get back to the boat the day I was lost at Lake Powell, so again, I trusted  God to show me the way to freedom from my anger, resentment and bitterness. 

But, as much as I’d hoped for an easy fix to feeling better about my past, my present and whatever lay ahead, the journey to forgiveness was not simple. 

Similar to hiking alone on that high plateau around Lake Powell, my journey to forgiveness was at times lonely, filled with doubt, and a much longer journey than I’d anticipated. Yet, just as God had shown me the way back to the boat, he showed me the way to forgiveness. 

Why Bother? 

Why bother to trust when we don’t know the way? Being lost is a horrible feeling, but faith shows us the way. 

You can read the whole story of my journey to forgiveness in my book, A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness found at Redemption Press and Amazon. Also, I’d like to invite you to my next Emotional Healing Through Forgiveness© workshop  scheduled for Saturday, April 26 from 4-7 p.m. at the YMCA in Sandpoint, Idaho.