Freedom to Forgive

 Did you know that forgiving someone does not require their participation, cooperation or concession?

We can forgive them, let them off the hook, and clear their debt of what we think they owe us without their authorization, authority, or blessing. 

When I forgave my father, who was already six feet under ground, I let go of what I thought he owed me; a better childhood, his presence, attention, guidance and counsel.  

When I forgave my father, I quit blaming him for my emotional struggles.  

When I forgave my father, I adopted a mindset of forgiveness that I can now apply with anyone as needed. 

Thankfully, I did not need him to cooperate or participate with my decision. I did not need his approval or authorization. 

I was completely free to forgive him.

Our freedom to forgive has particular results in our lives and in the lives of others. 

I know that practicing unselfishness, consideration and an ungrudging attitude toward some is easier than toward others. 

When someone knowingly or unknowingly slights, annoys, provokes, aggravates or deals us an emotional wound, our first response may be animosity.

Left to simmer, animosity turns into an abhorrence toward our offender. Abhorrence eventually gives us ground to hold grudges. Those grudges pile up and load us down.

How do we discard those grudges? How do we apply the principle of forgiveness toward our offender?

Admitting we hurt is a good place to start.

Calculating what we think our offender owes us is something to consider.

Recognizing that our offender does not have to cooperate, agree, or even know that we choose to let their offense go puts the power to forgive in our hands. 

We don’t wave a wand. We don’t say abracadabra, or voila. 

Forgiveness is a process without a timeline.

Yet, forgiving just one person just once exposes us to the value of our freedom to forgive in our lives and possible in theirs. 

Why Bother?

Why bother to value our freedom to forgive? Exercising our freedom to forgive frees us of our grudges, and may open an avenue of reconciliation, or not.