Terese Luikens newspaper article with title "I was ready to commit suicide"

Why Bother to Find Support?

Why Bother to Find Support?

Joining a support group can be a humble beginning to something better than we can imagine. But taking that first step is the most vulnerable step to take. We have to admit that on our own, we won’t succeed, without reinforcement, we won’t make our goal. So, to get the help we need we must first admit we need help. 

Finding A Tribe

There is a group for every imaginable need under heaven. Grief/loss groups, survivors of suicide, gamblers and debtors anonymous, depression and bipolar, PTSD, over eaters anonymous, co-dependence, freedom from fear and many, many more. Still, until we make that first call or attend that first meeting, we remain as we are—stuck in a place where we don’t want to be. 

My personal support group is a writers group comprised of wanna be writers and full-fledged published ones. There are no fees and only one rule—write.  When we come together for our monthly meetings we talk about one topic—writing. 

Over the years, fifteen or so, I’ve gradually grown in several ways, first and foremost, as a writer. When I accepted the invitation from a friend to attend this group, I wasn’t even a published author, just someone who’d filled dozens and dozens of composition sized notebooks with my daily musings. Would I fit into the group? Would they even consider me to be a writer? My friend assured me I would, and she was right, I did.  

Though these women were more knowledgeable and farther along in the journey than me, no one minded or discouraged my questions. They were there collectively, to encourage the creative and unique desires to write the stories that resided inside of each person around the table, including mine. 

To move forward toward accomplishing any goal, whether it is dropping an addiction or losing those extra pounds, or even writing a book, finding others with similar ambitions is inspiring, but it is not the magic bullet to success. We still have to do our part. 

For me, it was learning to trust the words of those who critiqued my work. The grammar corrections were and are easy for me to digest, but there were harder things for me to stomach. For instance, “I am not sure what you meant by…” “You seem cool and detached….” “You are too passive…” But I’ve come to understand that their words are not to harm or hurt me, only to help me grow. 

Support groups can also become a resource group with whom we can talk “shop.” Among the women who support my writing, two have already worked with publishing companies and share their knowledge with novices like myself, who are in the process of publishing a book for the first time. Who else would know what I was going through except for someone who has already gone through it? That’s the beauty of a support group. 

Why bother to find support? Finding a tribe of like-minded people who can give you a hand up, tell you the truth and with whom you can share your hopes and dreams is the best way to make our goals a reality. 

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A heart's journey to forgiveness book by Terese Luikens