Taking Another Look

It is never too late to glean something good from a past experience we once considered as unfortunate. Looking back on an experience with a different perspective, we may discover that we were actually blessed by what we thought was an unblessed set of circumstances.

Childhood memories leave a lasting impression. But as children going through our childhood, our perspective is quite shortsighted, a bit biased and somewhat self-centered. It’s just how we are meant to be at that time because we don’t know how to be anything other than what we are at the time: children.

It is not until we move into adulthood, when our reasoning matures, and we gain some wisdom can we then access and assess some of our childhood memories. Even then they can be difficult to evaluate and learn from. But, if we want, we can glean the good.

For instance, at the age of 13, my family broke apart. Dad admitted that he needed help. His alcoholism affected his ability to keep working and supporting his family. As a result, he went away to the Veteran’s hospital in Denver while the rest of us were dispersed among families who were willing to take us in. 

Mom, my youngest brother and I returned to Nebraska to live with Grandma. 

For me, it all felt horribly catastrophic. I loved living surrounded by the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. I’d just gotten used to my junior high school and had made a good friend. I didn’t want to leave. 

Besides that, Dad was my favorite parent. I could think of nothing positive about having only Mom as my parent. Dad had always been the buffer between us. Without him, there’d be no cushion, nothing to soften that raw uncontrollable anger that she often flung my way. 

But there was nothing I could do to change anything. The circumstances were completely out of my control. 

Enrolling into a new junior high, living away from the rest of my siblings and missing Dad was rough. But then there was Grandma; the only steady, unwavering, constant adult in my world. 

The disruption of my family’s life did not disrupt hers. Instead, she maintained her balanced routine of humor, health and hope while reaching out to help steady us. 

Those tumultuous times passed and taking a look back I can now glean some good from that particular period of my life. 

In the midst of what seemed horribly catastrophic, Grandma’s steadiness steadied me. 

Her healthy routines kept her place even when everything else was seemingly out of place.

I believe it was because of her practice of prayer, physical exercise, and laughter that she kept herself, and the rest of us from caving in under the circumstances. Though Mom, my little brother and I were displaced, Grandma was not.

Why Bother?

Why bother taking another look? None of us are exempt from horribly catastrophic circumstances from our childhoods. But, as adults with mature reasoning and wisdom, we can, if we want, evaluate the past and glean something good.

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.