Revelling in Our Friendships

As a kid, making friends was not an easy endeavor for me. Just when I was getting the hang of what it was like to have a friend, we’d move. 

It wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that I met someone whose friendship with me has lasted more than forty years. And, I have several reasons for revelling in that. 

First of all, in elementary school, I felt like the odd man out most of the time. Wanting to join in a game that was already in progress, the players would form a circle, hold hands and shout; “Tick tock the game is locked, nobody else can play, hooray! And if they do, we’ll kick them out. Tick tock the game is locked.” To say the least, those words hurt.

Moving was another problem and always a surprise. I never knew when Dad would relocate our family to a different state. Not only that, it was never at the end of a school year, but always smack dab in the middle of a school year. This meant that making friends or even thinking I’d make friends in the middle of a school year was already unlikely to happen.

At eighteen, when I finally left home, my track record with any long-term great friendships was zilch. Though I’d made a friend or two in high school, my friends happened to be pot heads. Not exactly good influencers.

In college I gave up on seeking out any friends because I didn’t want to lose them. Instead, I settled for acquaintances; those who could give me advice on which classes to take or the best resources to look at for homework. 

After college I stepped into the work world. Though I attempted hanging out with my co-workers, I didn’t quite fit into their mold as an educated professional. 

Along with the work world, came marriage. Ever hear how someone marries their best friend? Well I’d never had a best friend and I just didn’t think that husband and best friend should be synonymous roles.

But, one Sunday, my husband and I attended a church in our neck of the woods. In the parking lot, before going into the grange hall that served as the meeting place, we met a couple; Guy and Debbie.

Guy was one of those friendly guys, while Debbie appeared to be very shy. But her smile  and her eyes were a dead give-away for me. I sensed that there was much more to her than how she appeared. And I was right.

Like any new relationship, there is the awkward, cautious beginning as a foundation of trust is built. This stage of the relationship can go slow, or can be quickly tried by fire. Our relationship was quickly tried by fire and miraculously withstood the heat for which I am grateful.

After that, our relationship rose up from the ashes and blossomed into one of honesty, trustworthiness, and lightheartedness. 

When there is a misunderstanding, we know how to talk it through until we do understand. Also, we know each other well enough to know that what is not being said means that something needs to be said. There is high regard for each other which means we don’t use what we know about one another against each other. There is no mud slinging between us.

Why Bother?

Why bother revelling in our friendships? When we revel in our friendships, it means that we do not take them for granted, but instead, celebrate the fact that we have them.

P.S.  I wrote A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness for those of you who need the assurance that there is no “should” about how quickly we need to forgive someone. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.