It is normal and natural to grow tired of our sorrows and the work that is required to move through our grief. Grief work is similar to having a full-time job and it can make us weary. Finding rest in the midst of working toward our mental wellness is necessary. 

    Interlude

Though we may wrestle with false guilt when we consider taking a hiatus from working through the emotional fallout of trauma, sometimes we just need to take a break. The commitments we make to aid us in finding mental wellness and an inner balance such as meeting with a good counselor or finding a support group, are good to do. Sometimes though, we may just need to do something completely out of the ordinary like having some fun.  

It is not unusual for adult children of alcoholics or suicide survivors to find it difficult to take some time off. When we consider taking a res, there will be an inner argument that we will have with ourselves. We will say that we are lackadaisical which then leads to feelings of guilt followed by shame. 

Our inability to let up on our “to do list” or take ourselves a little less seriously is just another item on that long list entitled, “The results of trauma.”  Though relaxing is a troublesome activity for some of us, it is not an impossible feat. 

Discovering what replenishes, restores or invigorates our soul requires that we take note of what we like to do and what we do not like doing. 

It may be that going to a matinee by ourselves feels a whole lot better than attending a Tupperware party with all the aunts and cousins in the county. Declining that invitation to that Tupperware party though, will be the first hurdle. We might be so used to saying, “yes,” to everyone and everything that saying “no,” surprises us and everyone else around it. But saying “no” to others just means we are saying “yes,” to ourselves.  

What others may find to be restful and restorative to them does not have to be restful and restorative to us. Knowing what we prefer; quiet to noise, all by myself to the clutter of a crowd, browsing antique shops instead of shopping in a mall or a library to a bar are our preferences and not anyone else’s. Our rest is just that, our rest.

Why bother resting from sorrow? Whatever we decide to do to pause, stop or let up from working through the sorrows in our life will take practice. But, it is only by practice that we will get good at knowing how to rest.