Regaining

Recently, I began teaching a new yoga class. This class is for beginners; those who want to practice yoga, but know little to nothing about it. Interestingly enough, I don’t have any beginners per say. Instead, those who come to my class have had a yoga practice in the past, but because of an injury, their practice has been thwarted. 

Some of these students are recovering from foot, hip or shoulder surgery. They want to rebuild their strength through yoga practice, but they need to learn how to accommodate themselves now that they have a bodily injury to consider.  

Ability to Trust Again

I admire these new students of mine. With imperfect feet, hips, shoulders or balance, they show up to my class ready to learn what they need to learn in order to regain what they’ve lost; their yoga practice as well as their strength and flexibility. 

Their desire to take back what they once possessed reminds me of myself. Though I’ve never had any injuries that left me physically incapacitated, my father’s suicide gave me an emotional injury that took away my ability to trust others. 

Trust is an essential ingredient to healthy and happy relationships. Trusting someone means we put our confidence in them because we believe they are reliable. We get a sense that they are for us, wanting what’s best for us and bringing out the best they see in us.  

But, what happens when that person we thought trustworthy disappoints us?  What if the result of trusting them wreaks havoc in our lives? Should we ever trust again?

As a young kid, it was only natural for me to trust my father because I sensed his tender heartened love for me. But, when I was thirteen, he ended his life and as a result, I suffered greatly. 

Not wanting that to ever happen again, I told myself that I’d rely solely on myself. In that way, I’d avoid getting hurt again. My decision was made in fear, out of pain and with an adolescent mindset. And for awhile, my choice to not trust others, helped me to survive. 

Yet, remaining distrustful had its disadvantages too. There was the problem of loneliness, isolation, one way conversations, unresolved anger and depression. To trust again meant I might get hurt again, but to stay guarded and distrustful did not ensure a pain free life either. 

In my early adulthood years, I had a personal encounter with Jesus that altered everything. On the brink of ending my life, Jesus invited me to choose life. 

This invitation required that I trust again. With great caution, trepidation and minuscule steps, I have moved away from distrust to trust. With regular practice, I’ve regained my ability to trust others, including God. 

Why Bother?

Why bother regaining our ability to trust? Though we’ve all experienced the disappointment of someone falling short of our trust, there is One who will never disappoint us and waits for us to trust again.