Terese Luikens' dad

Why Bother Not Fretting?

 When my father was alive, I didn’t fret too much as a child. Instead, I naturally relied on him for everything I needed. Besides the basics of food, clothing and shelter, Dad gave me tender tending with cuddle times on his lap and lots of hugs to reassure me that all was well even when it seemed it wasn’t. 

Where Fretting Leads 

It wasn’t until after he took his life that fretting filled up the space Dad had left. At the age of thirteen, I subconsciously heaved the burden of taking charge of my life onto my puny little shoulders and got on with life as best I could.

A parent’s suicide changes everything about one’s childhood, but not for the better. Instead, my mind was filled with worrisome thoughts such as, if one parent can suddenly abandon you, what keeps the other one from leaving as well? 

Even though I’d never thought of being without any parents, it was a recurring thought that kept my mind occupied for quite some time. 

Consequently, since relying on Dad was no longer an option and Mom was emotionally out of commission, I turned into a hyper vigilant, on guard, defensive and independent child. 

Though only a young teenager, I took charge of the house, doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, and when I was old enough to drive, the grocery shopping. 

 I grew old before my time. Instead of thinking about going steady with the cute boy in botany class, I thought about all the things that needed to be done at home. Instead of thinking about graduating from high school, I considered dropping out and working full time. 

Fretting became a constant and reliable companion in my life. It was my flotation device, the one thing that rescued me and kept me afloat while trying to survive the roughest waters of my life. 

But then one day, I was told I never needed to worry, fret or be anxious again. And contrary to my firm belief in the goodness of fretting, I was told that it actually led to harm. 

 Could I believe this? Not at first. How could I? I’d grown accustomed to only trusting myself and trusting Someone else to care about me seemed too foreign of a thought. 

But God waits patiently while we mull over the truth and when we finally come around to believing it, we may not hear the angels applaud, whistle, and cheer, but our hearts can certainly vouch for the victory of the step we take in the right direction. 

Why bother not fretting? It is worth letting go of fretting when we know our Father has everything under control, even when it seems like it is not.

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A heart's journey to forgiveness book by Terese Luikens