Deliberate 

Making any deliberate choice in our lives sends us down a new path that, for a while, will be foreign and sometimes frightening. 

Thinking of some of the deliberate choices I’ve made in my life, I’m reminded of the time when I embarked on some trekking excursions with a very experienced hiker.

I met Cass in my writer’s group and during one of our writer’s retreats she told me of her goal to walk the full length of the historical path that stretches from the southern region of Idaho to the Canadian border. Each summer and early fall, she’d map out portions of this trailway to complete during her yearly paid vacation time from work. 

Consequently, because of my interest in her adventures, she invited me to accompany her on a few of her spring training hikes along nearby trails. I eagerly accepted.

But before going on a one or two night backpacking trips with her, I needed some basic equipment. With Cass’s help I acquired a backpack, sleeping bag, mattress pad, tent, water filter system, and bear spray. 

Carefully packing my gear we set out for our first adventure together. I carried my load while following in Cass’s footsteps. She had the map. She knew the trail and knowing she was trustworthy, I followed.

The treks were a test of my endurance because at times we encountered steep rocky inclines. Other times I was forced to overcome my fear of what we might encounter around the corner. “How fresh is that bear scat?” I’d ask Cass. Then there were the times when our feet trod through wide fields of grass and wildflowers. Those treks with Cass gave me a new perspective of the place where I live. 

Deliberate Choice to Forgive

Choosing to traipse through the wilderness with a friend is similar to another deliberate choice I’ve made in life. Another purposeful and intentional decision I made was to forgive my father.  

Similar to acquiring the equipment I needed for trail walking, I realized I needed some gear when I chose to embark upon the trail of forgiveness.

First, like following Cass who had the map and whom I believed was trustworthy, I chose to allow God to lead me along this new trail. Secondly, remaining committed to the journey, no matter how long it would take was another requirement. 

While traveling this pathway toward forgiveness, I was oftentimes challenged. Some of my emotions were so raw and new that they scared me. Other times, I felt so lost, desperate and doubtful that I wondered if I’d made a mistake. Did I really need to forgive my dad?  

Staying on this journey though, led me to the place where I could finally set my unforgiving self aside and then continue with life with my forgiving self. 

Why Bother?

Why bother making deliberate choices? When we make a deliberate choice, such as to forgive someone, then we are liberated from the well trodden path of unforgiveness. Forgiveness gives us a new view of others and of ourselves. 

You can read the whole story of my journey to forgiveness in my book, A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness found at Redemption Press and Amazon.