If I were to sit and mull over all the stupid things I’ve said and done in my life, I imagine looking a little bit like Job, sitting in the dirt scraping my skin with a broken piece of pottery. The story of Job is a sad one. After he had lost his family and his livelihood, his body was struck from head to toe with boils. Job was alone, dejected and at rock bottom.   

Haunted

I could let my past mistakes, rash decisions, and harsh words haunt me if I let it, but I don’t have to let them. Instead, I’ve learned to gradually and with much grace, let my past be that; my past. Though we can never take back our brainless, thoughtless, and half-witted words or actions, we don’t have to repeat them. Though a residue of our past remains in our memory, there is no need to allow the dregs to condemn us either. 

Like Job, I too was once at rock-bottom. I was ready to follow in the footsteps of my father and end my life. Alone and dejected I could not think of a way out of the pain of failure. 

I’d tried hard to find success, happiness, and fulfillment according to the culture of the day; be strong, be independent, be WOMAN. But I’d failed and I felt the condemnation of my defeat. 

Thankfully, my story does not end there although it could have. Instead, I was rescued by the reality of a hope that was beyond my imagination. 

Like Job, I knew a few things about God, but I had no idea of his mission to rescue individuals until I was rescued. Was I looking for liberation? Only from my shame of failure. I knew that I’d tried, I’d failed and was ready to surrender to the consequences of my blunders; death. Agreeing with defeat was the only option I could see. Then everything changed when Jesus showed up in a way that I could see, hear and believe. 

Everything for Job changed as well when God showed up and the two of them had a very long conversation. 

Although I was rescued from the hands of my own demise, my story does not end there either. My response to Jesus was not, “Hey, thanks for the vision of hope. I think I can take it from here.” No. The hope that was granted to me altered my life for a lifetime and continues to alter my life on a daily basis. 

Why bother letting ourselves off the hook? No one can ever imagine their journey with Jesus until we agree to believe and trust Jesus to take us on the journey. But one thing for sure is that he shows us how to let ourselves off the hook, forever.