Learning from Misunderstandings

“In so many ways, much of our interaction gets lost in translation, and we’re left to piece together what just happened.” Dr. Caroline Leaf, Switch on Your Brain Every Day.

These words from Dr. Leaf give hope to those of us who are awkward communicators. As much as we understand what we mean, a lot of what we mean can still be lost in translation. 

 I’d rather write than speak. On average, a person types 40 words per minute while on average, a person can speak 100 words per minute. 

I find writing my thoughts easier because when I write, I have the luxury of reading what I’m saying. Whether I write a letter to be mailed, answer an email, or write a blog, I re-read what I’ve written, making sure that what I’m saying is what I meant to say. 

Even if writing is not foolproof, it is editable before sending. 

I am more apt to say something foolish than to write it. 

Our spoken words are not edited. Though we may think before we speak, the spoken word comes out rather quickly, too fast to edit each word.

 If a slow speaker speaks at 100 words per minute and a fast speaker speaks about 200 words per minute, it is no wonder undesirable results occur: misunderstandings, offenses, and hurt feelings. 

If you’ve ever wondered what just happened, more than likely, you’ve experienced a misunderstanding.  

I’m glad you’ve stayed with me this long because here comes the good news; it is not unusual for misunderstandings to occur between people. 

When we are misunderstood, we can see it as an opportunity to learn something new about ourselves or the other person. 

Instead of getting frustrated, exasperated, or mad, we might try looking at the situation as an adventure, a journey that will lead us to new insights about ourselves or the other person. 

Misunderstandings do not have to scare us away from relationships. Misunderstandings do not mean we are dweebs. Misunderstandings do not mean we should give up and go live in a cave. Misunderstandings are the norm, and, being the norm, we can find a way to be understood once again.

Why Bother?

Why bother learning from misunderstandings? Seeing misunderstandings as an opportunity to learn, grow, and be transformed makes us wiser and better communicators.