What Makes Us So Angry?

There was a time when I had an endless amount of anger. But once I discovered its source, I cauterized it, staunching its ability to bleed out and contaminate myself and others.

 Anger produces a lot of energy inside of us, but this energy is not a productive kind of spark. Instead, this power can drive us to do things that we’ll later regret; say words we wished we’d not said, and possibly cause ourselves or others physical damage. Think road rage, hurling objects and shouting hurtful words. 

Even if our personality lends itself to retain our anger inside it still does its damage. We isolate ourselves from others, develop chronic stress and high anxiety. 

I know from personal experience that my own hot temper brought forth a sense of ire, created acerbity, and contaminated the lives of others around me with resentment. Like fire from a dragon, those closest to me felt the most heat.

Only after spewing forth words that I’d hoped would hurt someone enough to make them change did I realize it was me who needed to change. 

Changing anything about ourselves is not instantaneous, automatic, or simple, rather it takes quite a bit focused, investigative and patient thinking.

Discovering the source of my anger took be back to the childhood trauma of my father’s suicide and my mother’s silence. Unable to make sense of either of these events, I simply put them on a back burner where they simmered on low for several years. 

Not until I was a young adult could I even begin to think about and label the things that made up my well cooked anger; abandonment, shame, along with an inability to accept anyone’s imperfections including my own. 

Even after recognizing the ingredients that made up my wrath it still took me some time to know what to do with it all. 

Forgiving those who’d hurt me is what finally cauterized and healed my woundedness.

Why Bother?

Why bother knowing what makes us so angry? Focusing our thinking, examining our thoughts and investigating our actions is not self-centered thinking. Instead, taking the time to figure out what makes our insides churn and burn will, in the long run, turn us into kinder, more thoughtful and considerate people. It’s only when we know what makes us so angry can we then eliminate its power of destruction.

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.