Is Crying Good for Us?

The other night, over meatloaf and oven baked carrots, I casually asked my husband, “Do you believe in having a good cry?”

Even though we’ve been married for quite some time, I’ve learned that his default response to some of my inquiries can be a quizzical one. Over dinner that night was no exception. I saw on his face the questions ping ponging inside his brain. 

Is there a right answer to this question? Am I being tested? Does she think I need to have a good cry with her?

So, I rephrase my question, making it more direct; “Do you think crying can be good for you?”

He sets his fork down, leans back and smiles. “Yes, I’ve had a good cry or two and I know that when I do, it releases whatever emotion I’m trying to ignore.” 

I’ve posed this same question to more than one of my friends and not everyone agrees. For instance, one of my friends told me that she is afraid to start crying because once she starts, she does not trust herself to stop. 

Another friend told me that crying gives her a headache while someone else said that shedding tears made her feel like a weakling. 

Yet, we’ve all been created with glands within the structure of our eyes that produce tears. 

A Good Reason for Tears

It is fascinating for me to learn that there are three different types of tears, not just one. First, there are the basal tears. They are in our eyes all the time protecting and providing nutrients to the cornea. Basal tears are the constant fluid that shields our eyes from the debris and dirt in our environment.  

Then there are the reflexive tears. They are released in large amounts when our eyes are invaded with smoke, onion fumes or other irritants. Our reflexive tears contain antibodies to help fight bacteria.

Finally, my favorite kind of tears; emotional tears. These tears are a signal to ourselves and others. They carry a message about how we are feeling; sad, frustrated, angry, vulnerable, confused, used, regretful, powerless, stupid, or sentimental to name the top ten in my life.  

 When I feel any one of these emotions beginning to form inside of me, my emotional tears are alerted and can begin to flow.

Though I prefer having a good cry in private, sometimes those emotional tears leak out in public. But, I’ve never had to apologize to anyone for them because everyone knows what it is like to cry.   

Why Bother

Why bother having a good cry? When we allow our emotional tears to flow, they actually cleanse us of some of the waste product created by our responses to the frustrating and sad events in our lives. Though crying does not necessarily alter our circumstances, crying does validate to ourselves and the rest of the world what is going on inside our hearts. And anytime we acknowledge the truth residing in our hearts, then we come a little closer to living the truth of our hearts.