Not everyone believes in a “good” cry. Not everyone even believes that crying is a good thing to do. I used to think that too. Crying, I thought, changed nothing. Besides, it only made me tired. But not any more. What changed my tune? Allowing myself a few “good” cries convinced me that letting unchecked tears flow shifted my emotions from intense to mild, from unmanageable to manageable.  

Scheduling a “Good” Cry

Is there such a thing as crying on demand? Not always, but sometimes. I’ve discovered that for myself, when I feel the strong force of sadness, uncertainty, fear or nostalgia, I know it is time to make room in my day for a good cry. 

Scheduling a good cry means I need a place and space to be alone, without any interruptions. The worst thing is to be interrupted in the middle of a well deserved time of allowing our tears to flow.

I might tell myself that I’ll let the teardrops drop during my twenty minute commute to work or give myself permission to let the tears flow during a yoga practice at home.  Then, when I get in the car or step onto my yoga mat, my body and mind know that the appointed time has arrived and the flood gate opens. 

I know some people may worry that once they turn their water works on they won’t be able to turn them off. But here is the key; don’t keep trying to hold back what needs letting loose. Restricting our tears only builds up pressure in the dam. But, the more we tune in to our need to cry, the less we deny our need to cry and the better we become at arranging a time for those needful tears to fall.

A good cry can be done alone or with a trusted friend. Years back, when our oldest son’s wedding loomed on the horizon, I planned on having a good cry before his wedding day. I wanted to enjoy the festivities of this special event, not reminisce with misty eyes. 

A few days before his wedding day, I sat on the couch in our house, alone with my mother-in-law. We sat side by side and walked down memory lane together. The tears as well as the laughter flowed naturally for both of us. It was a communal “good” cry that cleared our emotions, making us ready and steady for the wedding. 

Why bother having a good cry? Having a good cry unclogs our emotions, allows them to drain naturally and keeps our system flowing smoothly.