As a suicide survivor, and an adult child of an alcoholic, I know how to survive. I self-taught myself how to weather the storms early on in my life because of our frequent moves. By the time I was in seventh grade,we’d moved from Nebraska to South Dakota, from South Dakota to Colorado and then back again to Nebraska. 

I’d been the new kid in a new classroom more times than I’d wanted. I’d experienced physical and emotional bullying, and if I was lucky enough to make any friends at school, I had to leave them behind when we moved. Though I graduated from high school, it was only by the skin of my teeth. 

      What Does the Future Hold?

Consequently I did not see a future for myself in the realm of academia, but I did know how to work hard and make money. By the time I was eighteen, my resume included child care, housecleaning, a nurses aide, private in-home health care and a restaurant worker. 

Then, while a waitress, at a little restaurant in a small town, my life was altered by a cook named Bob.

Bob was a good judge of character. While piling French fries and hamburgers onto platers, Bob could size up any one of our customers. Then, when I’d pick up an order, Bob would warn or inform me; “That one will leave you a big tip,” or, “Be careful around that one. He’s a schmoozer.” Bob was always right about the customers. Then one night, I learned that Bob was right about me, too.

One night, after we’d closed the restaurant and locked the door, I sat at the counter counting my tips. Bob was in the kitchen cleaning the grill, but shouted out to me, “You ought to go to college.” I shouted back, “Yeah right, Bob.”

But he was serious. He came out from behind his grill, leaned against the counter, looked me in the eye and said, “You are too smart to be a waitress for the rest of your life. Get out of here. Go to college.” 

 Bob recognized the pathway I was comfortable with. It was called “simple survival.” But he also knew I could do more than just endure. He saw the potential in me to learn and grow, to achieve and succeed, to go beyond just the will to sustain myself. 

Bob was right. I was nineteen at the time and discovered that Social Security would pay for my first two years of college, enough time to earn an associate’s degree. During those two years, I realized that learning was fun and that I wasn’t dumb. 

After graduating, I fell in love, married and raised three sons. All the while though, I knew that I’d eventually go back to college and I did. This time, I earned my bachelor’s degree and then went a little further to secure my teacher’s certification. I thank Bob for changing my mind about academia, pointing out a different pathway for my life and causing me to believe that I did not have to settle for simply surviving. 

Why bother changing the course of our history? By the time we reach adulthood, we’ve all learned the basic skills to sustain a living. But maybe we need to listen to the “Bob” in our lives who challenges us to go beyond just weathering the storms and instead, change the course of our history.