An Impact

We use words to communicate. We might speak them out loud, or let them roll around silently inside our heads. At times we may speak words that come across with a clear and indisputable intent or our words come across as a clear misunderstanding. Sometimes we may not know what to say and other times we may say things we never meant to say. It is a wonder we speak at all.

Notably, the other day while teaching a yoga class, I noticed how a new student who was struggling with the poses. Noting her age and her torso, I wondered, Is she pregnant? If she was I needed to warn her to take special care. 

After class, I quietly asked her, “Are you pregnant?”

“No,” she answered. 

It was an embarrassing moment for me and I apologized for my mistake. Thankfully she was gracious and did not take offense to my question. Then she told me a little bit about her history; chronic back pain, unable to exercise, and weight gain. I listened and she assured me that my mistake was an honest one. Whew! 

Other times though, I’ve wished I’d never said the words I said in the first place. To demonstrate, early in our marriage, my husband had a work related accident with a skill saw. While he held onto the board he was cutting, the saw kicked back, nearly slicing off one of his fingers. 

With surgery, the finger was saved, but his recovery took longer than either of us had anticipated. Tired of him lying around on the couch, and irritated that I was having to do everything around the house, I made a snide, rude and mean comment to the effect of him needing to get off his butt and get busy. Ouch! I am so very grateful he understood my moment of snarkiness and quickly forgave me.

Then there are those ancient nicknames, passing comments made by others or teasing words left over from growing up with our siblings. These archaic words have a way of  embedding themselves within our nonconscious mind and yet, consciously affecting us.  Case in point, “You were adopted,” was a teasing statement said by one or two of my older siblings maybe a half-dozen times and yet, it stuck.

Those few words, long after I’d grown up and become an adult, would often cause me to pause and consider, Did I really belong or not? 

When I felt that I didn’t belong, then I would hesitate calling one of my siblings when I knew they could use some encouragement. Those old words, at times, had a way of constipating who a really was, a member of the family. 

Valuable

As I think about the words I’ve spoken in the past and the words I will speak in the future, I think about what the Bible has to say about our words. 

In one of the Proverbs it says that words fitly spoken are words that are not only true but also delivered at just the right time. Those kinds of words are like “apples of gold in settings of silver.” Like a beautiful and valuable piece of artwork, our words have a lasting impression.  

Thinking about how my words will impact someone else, makes me want my words to count as something of value. 

Why Bother?

Why bother calculating the value of words? Suitable words spoken at just the right time benefit the giver and the receiver. The rec