Lost

I’ve been lost a few times in my life, and being lost conjures up two major emotions inside of me; shame and fear. I feel ashamed because I’m a grown woman. It’s expected that a child will get lost, but not a grown woman. 

Secondly, is an overpowering sense of fear. How will I find my way back to where I’m supposed to be? Will someone find me? What if I am lost forever?

I recall an embarrassing and scary time when I got lost in a shopping mall in Denver. 

My husband and I were newly married and visiting his brother who lived in Denver, Colorado. He and his wife wanted to show us the newest, biggest and grandest shopping mall that had yet been built in their city. 

 It was a big and grand building. The mall had various stores, beautiful water features and an assortment of restaurants. Music played overhead while crowds of people wandered along inside the two story massive mall. 

Needing to use the bathroom, my relatives pointed me in the general direction of the lavatories. They kept walking, and I assured my husband that I’d catch up. But when I came out of the bathroom, the masses of people moseying along in the plaza disoriented me. I was perplexed. Should I turn right or left? Suddenly, I was afraid and baffled. Where were my people? How would I find them? 

I wandered alone and scared. Realizing that I had most likely lost my way, my husband, brother and sister-in-law had gone up to the second story level and gazed down into the crowd looking for me. When I heard my name being called out, and saw my husband and relatives frantically waving their arms above me, my fear and embarrassment gave way to relief. 

Amazing Grace

Admitting to being lost is an admission to the fact that we don’t know where we are and that we are unsure of what to do. If we do not admit to our lostness, then we remain lost, helpless, and vulnerable wanderers. But, if we own up to being lost, then we’ll want to be found. We will be motivated to look, seek and discover our way back to where we belong. 

But, being lost is not just a physical condition. Being lost is also a spiritual condition. 

There was a time when I did not realize I was a lost soul. I had allowed the ways of the world to show and tell me how to live. I did whatever I felt like doing whenever I felt like doing it. But living according to this philosophy and the standards set by a crazy world led me to a very dark and scary place. I came to a space and place where I firmly believed that the only way out of the dark, lonely and scary place I’d wandered into, was by ending my life. But, before I believed and accepted that thought, God’s voice and a vision of his appearance, got my attention. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t helpless. There was an alternative choice; life instead of death.

Since acknowledging that I needed someone to show me the way to live and to whom I belonged, those feelings of being in the dark, being alone and being afraid gave way to the relief of being found by the one who loves me with an indescribable love. 

Why Bother?

Why bother being found? Though it is humbling to admit to being lost, God patiently waits for our admission. Then he welcomes us and showers us with immense tender heartedness.