I’ve been called many things in my life, but never compassionate. I’ve never thought of myself to be tender, mild, considerate, or forbearing. But recently, a friend made it a point to tell me that she has personally witnessed my compassion. I was stunned, taken aback and surprised by her words.  

        Tender Hearted

I have always been attracted to tender hearted individuals. They are easy for me to be around because they do not pose a threat and neither do they place any unrealistic expectations upon me. 

My father was a compassionate man who bent down to my level or placed me on his lap so he could listen and hear me. His gentle mannerisms and soft voice made me feel completely at ease. In his presence, I felt accepted and safe. 

Another kind-hearted and genuine person is my brother, Bruce. He stops whatever he is doing to listen. He physically leans in and gently probes with questions in order to understand a person’s heart. I feel his genuineness whenever I am in his company.

Then there is my husband. I fell in love with him not only because of his physique, but also because I recognized the kindness, consideration, and patience to be similar to that of my father’s and my brother’s. 

When my friend told me that she’d experienced compassion from me, I had to rethink what I’ve always thought about myself. 

I know that at times, I am not a gentle person. But when I sense a hurting heart, my heart hurts too. 

In the past, whenever I was in the presence of a needy person, I’d get scared. They made me feel inadequate because I knew I did not possess the remedy required to “fix” them. But a remedy is not what they need, it is simply someone who will listen without judging. 

My friend pointed out that I’ve earned the right to hear a person’s painful story, because I’ve identified with my own painful story. Finally, she’s personally experienced the connection that occurs between two broken hearted people.

Why bother being compassionate? I’ve not always identified with my own compassion, but I’ve identified with the compassion from others. Perhaps then we can say that compassionate people beget compassionate people.