Remembering the Best Communicators

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Ruminating on this quote, first attributed by Quote Investigator to Carl W. Buehner, I remember how sad I felt as a kindergartener when President John F. Kennedy was assassinated, and again as a fourth grader when Dr. Martin Luther King was killed. 

Later, while in college, I listened to some of their speeches. Hearing their words made me feel important, and I came to understand that being an American citizen carried the responsibility of being honest, truthful, and respectful to others. 

But these famous men are not the only ones I remember making me feel I was important and had something to contribute to the world.

There are two strong and yet humble women who left their imprint on my memory.

 During my tumultuous teen years, my Grandma Weber made me feel accepted. Those years were terrible. Dad died by suicide, Mom wasn’t speaking to me, and life went on even though I wished it wouldn’t. 

I ranted about my circumstances to Grandma while sitting beside her on her front porch swing slurping the root-beer float she’d serve me. Mostly she listened. 

But I’ll never forget when she said, “Terese, someday you’re going to need to forgive your dad for all the hurt he caused.”

I didn’t understand those words until years later when I finally did forgive Dad. 

Remembering how Grandma made me feel accepted reminds me that listening can make others feel accepted too.  

I have a short attention span. Listening to preachers makes me feel restless and anxious. Even the most eloquent preacher could say what they need to say in fewer words.

My friend Mary was the very best preacher. She made me feel joyful, hopeful and encouraged. 

Like Grandma who listened to my woes during my teen years, Mary listened when I told her of my worries as a mom raising sons. She’d tell me stories of her own struggles as a young mom. “Let your worries shape your prayers,” she’d say. 

Mary did not need a pulpit to preach about her faith. She simply lived it.

Why Bother? 

Why bother remembering the best communicators? They remind us how people will never forget how we made them feel.