Regrets

Living life without any regrets is as impossible as living our lives without making any mistakes. But just as we can learn from our mistakes we can also learn from those things we regret.

Regret is wishing that circumstances were different from what they are. It is wishing we could take back words that we’ve said, or respond differently than how we previously reacted.

At various times, I can bump up against feelings of regret. When I do, then I am either motivated to learn from what I regret saying or doing or I’m left alone on an island surrounded by the insistent crashing waves of remorsefulness. My preference; learning from my regrets rather than being a victim of the incessant pounding of my regrets. 

When I bemoan without scrutinizing what I might learn from the words and actions that caused me shame and others grief, then my moaning is in vain. But, if I lament with the intent to discover how to not repeat what I know I will only regret later, then deploring myself, for a little while, and for the purpose of learning, can produce some worthwhile insights. 

For instance, I know that most of my accumulated regrets include speaking without thinking. Some of the words I’ve spoken to those closest to me have damaged them the most. 

At times, my words have had the same effect of a slap across their face. Though I may have actually wanted to slap them, to get their attention, or to wake them up from what I consider to be plain stupidity, I let my words do the slapping.

Learning that my propensity toward speaking hurtful words leads to regretfulness, I am much more cautious when I speak to those whom I love. Yes, I may not agree with what they are doing, yes I may wish for them to “wake up” but saying words that I know I will later regret is not helpful. 

I am learning that sometimes the best thing I can do is to just be quiet, to listen, to watch, to wait and be ready with a word that encourages rather than hurts. 

Why Bother?

Why bother learning from the things we regret? Our regrets can teach us something so that we don’t have to repeat what we’ll only later regret. 

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.