Relating to the Unrelatable

In his book, Think Again, Adam Grant says that we don’t have to be disagreeable just because we don’t agree. Yet, it is easy to get emotionally reactive toward those who don’t think like we do.

For example, one person may respect our president while another scorns him. One person may think we should thank Mr. Fauci, while another believes he should be put in jail. There are those who think everyone should get the vaccination for the good of everyone else, while others say, “No thank you.” Such things have actually divided families.

Two people have shared their heart wrenching stories with me. A father of a grown son told me the story of how his son believes he, the dad, has crossed the red line by not voting for the same person that he voted for. 

Consequently, the son is no longer talking with his father and his father is left dumbfounded. Up until the last election, he and his son had a good relationship, one that involved sharing their opinions and thoughts with mutual respect. Now, there is only silence between them.

Another instance of what some are calling “the great divide,” a mother with three grown daughters has been ostracized by two of her three daughters. They’ll  speak to her, but only with a short text reply to her attempt at a phone conversation.

It is a sad state of affairs when communication is severed simply because of differing opinions. 

I wonder, since when is it a good idea for everyone to think the same? And why is someone who thinks differently seen as the enemy? 

Everyone has their own opinion and I’ve listened to quite a few people tell me about their stance on President Trump, Dr. Fauci, and the vaccination. But they don’t tell me why they think the way they do and they don’t ask, “What are your thoughts on this?” 

I’m not one to offer my point of view unless the other person is genuinely interested. But that presents another issue. Most people are not interested in listening to those whose opinion they think may differ from their own. 

Listening is the key word. Listening, with two ears, guard down and genuine curiosity. Curiosity is the key.

Our opinions are formed in various ways and I’m always interested in knowing how someone forms theirs. Knowing a person’s history helps me to understand how they came to believe what they believe. 

Such dialogues are all too rare because the great divide seems to have instilled much fear in most folks. 

It is difficult to process what we don’t understand and though I want to understand, it won’t happen without civil conversation. 

Why Bother?

Why bother relating to the unrelatable? They may be unrelatable right now, but you never know when they’ll want to actually converse.  Not holding their opinion against them will keep our door open to when they might be curious enough to ask, “What do you think?”

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who need clarity and direction when it comes to understanding forgiveness. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.