Regarding Childhood

It is a new month and I get to choose a new theme! I choose the theme of, regarding our childhoods. Whether we are an only child, one of many, wanted, adopted or abused, we are better adults if we regard our childhoods instead of disregarding them. 

Our childhoods shape us. During our formative years, beginning in infancy and ending when we finally fly the coop, we form habits. The way we live our lives and the why we live the way we do, is strongly influenced by how we were raised.

I was reminded of this during my family’s last Macek Maverick phone call. These bimonthly phone calls started about five years ago and continue today. 

Not all six of my siblings dial into the call all at the same time, but on this last call, six of the seven of us were present.

The middle child of the family sent out this question beforehand so that we’d all have time to formulate our answers. “Think back to when you first realized just how many people were in this place called home. What or how did you understand about being a brother or a sister? Do you remember an expectation being communicated to you by someone else (Mom, Dad, Grandparent, other sibling)? 

The answers of course varied among us just because of the variables among us; gender, birth order, and age.  

Some of my siblings shared similar answers. For example, more than one mentioned the expectation that came from both Mom and Dad; the expectation to share. 

We shared bedrooms, meals and clothes. The youngest, eventually wearing some of the same outfits handed down to them from the older siblings. 

Another common expectation, this one coming from Dad, was, “Respect your mother.” Everyone of us remembers that one.

More than one of us talked about how the size of our family affected us. I was always looking for a quiet space to be in; behind the couch, in the linen closet or a secret place among the bushes in the yard. 

So how does regarding our own childhoods make us better adults?

Thinking back on what was expected from me, such as respecting my mother, helped me to establish the same expectation from my own kids. I didn’t even give them the option. I just let them know, right from the get go, that I was Mom, that I was in charge, and they were not. 

Living in a large family with a propensity toward being an introvert, was at times uncomfortable for me. Finding my quiet is still a good habit that I practice. And I am well aware of my limits when in a crowd. 

 Why Bother?

Why bother regarding childhood? Regarding our childhoods helps us to understand the why behind the way we live. Understanding the why gives us a way to change if we need to.

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who need clarity when it comes to understanding forgiveness. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.