None of us are without our preconceived ideas about God and when God does not meet those tailor made ideas we have of him, then we, not God, are the one who need to make a choice to change. 

Intrusion

My early days of walking by faith were quite pleasant. My husband and I found a church where we believed the teaching was helping us grow. We had friends with whom we could confide in and pray with, and our marriage and faith felt solid. 

Then, trouble came our way and finding anything good in the midst of that trouble was at first, beyond my ability. 

Though I’d started out afraid about what kind of mother I’d be, after giving birth to two healthy sons my confidence in my parenting skills had grown. Consequently, I wanted one more child. Voicing this to my husband one day, he was surprised and asked me, “What did you do with my wife?” 

All was well with this supposedly last pregnancy of mine until just before my due date. Then, going in for my regularly scheduled appointment, my doc could not find the baby’s heartbeat. Patting my hand and telling me not to worry, I met my doc and my husband at the hospital for an ultrasound. The ultrasound only confirmed that there was indeed, no heartbeat, the baby was dead.

I was devastated. Why was this happening? I’d been so happy and confident. Now, not only was he dead, but I still had to go through labor and delivery. 

That night of labor was gruesome, the worst ever. I didn’t want to go through it and somewhere in the middle of my agonizing contractions I prayed for a miracle. Maybe, just maybe, God would give this child the breath of life. But, there was no miracle. Just a still born baby.

I didn’t like how I felt nor the length of time that I felt let down, confused, vulnerable and shaky about my faith. But I got the sense in the midst of my trouble, that I had the chance to examine any misnomers I may have had about my faith in God. 

Was God still good even though he did not answer my prayer for a miracle? Yes. Was God still reliable? Yes. Was God punishing me because I’d felt confident in having this third child? No.

Why bother looking for the good? When troubles come, not if they come, they may seem like an inconvenience, an intrusion or a terrible disruption to our lives. But in reality, their presence only causes us to look closer for the good that somehow always comes from God.