Getting Along With Yourself?

Have you ever considered yourself to be your own worst enemy? I used to. But thankfully, over the years, I’ve learned to get along with myself by getting to know myself.

Self-perception is a term used by counselors and psychologists to mean our interpretation of ourselves. We interpret who we are based on self-awareness. Self-perception is also based on our interactions with others and their reactions to us. 

Who we think we are is formed relatively early in our lives by those who most influence our lives. 

When angry, my mother often called me an igit. Although at the time I did not know the word meant, “idiot,” I somehow knew she was not paying me a compliment. The word described her concept of me. And perhaps I was an igit based on the context of what I’d just done to make her angry. Nonetheless, her idea of me being an igit stuck in my brain and at times, I believed her, I was an igit.

My father, on the other hand, told me I was special and I believed him too. As a youngster though, there was no way for me to solve the internal conflict that resulted in hearing two different messages from my parents. I was an igit, but I was also special. Did that make me a special igit?

Growing up and becoming independent from my parents, their messages were still embedded in my brain, but other messages were added to theirs. 

“You are a hard worker,” from employers. “You are so organized,” from co-workers. “You are lovely,” from my spouse. “You are anxious,” from self-talk.

But here is the best news of all; our self-perception evolves. As we grow up and as we become more self-aware of our thoughts, words and actions, we’ll become better acquainted with ourselves. 

You would think we’d know who we are because we live with ourselves 24/7. But, as we become more conscious of our self-talk and our actions toward ourselves and others, then we get to know ourselves better. 

I no longer think of myself as an igit. Undoubtedly, sometimes I take action before thinking things through thoroughly. But, I don’t think of myself as an idiot. Instead I consider myself as someone who is continuing to learn how to live wisely, even from my mistakes.  

And yes, my father’s message to me about being special remains in my brain. I believe his message to me was that he thought I was unique. I do see myself as a unique individual, but I see everyone else that way too.

Paying attention to myself, I’ve discovered that I can’t live in peace with myself when there is internal dissonance. Discordance with myself is as uncomfortable as being in a state of disharmony with anyone else that I care about. 

Whatever we think about ourselves, whether it is true or false, we’ll believe it. An igit, special or a special igit? 

Why Bother?

Why bother getting along with yourself? There is no getting away from ourselves, so  learning how to get along with ourselves is a healthy choice.   

P. S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who need clarity when it comes to understanding forgiveness. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.