What We Project

Unforgiveness can be a subtle emotion that settles down inside of us and camouflages itself as anger. That anger shows up in a variety of ways. Cynicism, sarcasm, pissiness, resentfulness as well as stone cold silence are just a few of the ways anger and ultimately unforgiveness projects itself. We can direct these emotions either toward ourselves or toward others. Either way, they have a way of showing up and doing damage. 

I know from experience that it is easier to be angry than it is to be hurt. Admitting that I am offended by someone else exposes to them my tender underbelly. Whereas if I display anger, I look much more powerful, scary and impenetrable. 

But anger is only a disguise, screening the hurt we feel from the wound we incurred from someone else. 

We hold our offender in contempt, pronouncing them guilty and unforgivable. Then we sentence them to a life without parole, keeping them chained to their offense. We can’t separate the person from their offense; they are one in the same. This allows us to justify holding them in contempt and being unforgivable. They don’t deserve forgiveness because of what they did. 

More than one person is credited for saying that resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. That can also apply to unforgiveness because unforgiveness breeds resentment.

Choosing to not forgive ourselves or someone else produces hopelessness and despair inside of us. This can lead to depression and fatigue. These emotions are the culprits of getting in the way of our well-being.

To quote from an article found in the National Library of Medicine, “The negative health effects of unforgiveness are widely documented which include but are not limited to: stress, increased depression and anxiety, social isolation, and even compromised physical health due to stress on one’s immune system.”

Unforgiveness breeds resentment which only poisons us. 

Why Bother?

Why bother checking out what you project? Unforgiveness and anger ultimately display themselves by way of cynicism, sarcasm, pissiness, resentfulness as well as stone cold silence. These emotions are not attractive. But, these unattractive emotions can, if we let them, give us a very good reason to forgive.

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.