Today, August 2, 2024 is my forty-fourth wedding anniversary. I cringe when I think back to how I was forty-four years ago; clueless concerning commitment, hard headed about believing in my husband’s love for me and frankly, full of myself. Oh my! 

      Grateful For The Change

  On my wedding day, I repeated the traditional vows in front of the pastor, my friends, family and God, “To be my wedded husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” But I didn’t really mean what I said. In the back of my mind, I had a plan B; if this does not work, I can always get a divorce. 

With little knowledge and tentative commitment, I entered into the institution of marriage; an intimate, legal and public declaration of my union with my husband. With such ignorance, how then has our marriage not only survived, but thrived for so long? 

I had a change of mind, an epiphany, a eureka moment.

I distinctly remember the occasion when I finally realized that I needed to close the door and throw away the key to my plan B. 

It was a golden September evening. My husband and I traversed through the field that bordered our property while I carried our new born son close to my chest in the homemade carrier a friend gave me. For the first time since we’d married, I felt completely at ease beside my husband. We’d been married a mere three years, but already we had made history together. We owned property, built a house, and now we had a child. 

I decided it was the right time for me to be honest with my husband. I told him about my plan B. But he was not surprised, offended or angry. He nodded his head with understanding and acceptance. 

When I told him I was closing the door and throwing away the key to my plan B, he put his arm around my shoulder and gently pulled me closer to his side. 

I was finally able to let go of my plan B because although I’d not meant the words I’d said to my husband on our wedding day, it did not mean he’d not meant them. 

On the contrary, since the beginning of our union, my husband had shown his love for me. He’d remained patient while I exploded with anger, listened while I expressed my worries,   and stayed hopeful when I clammed up.  Though I was a little slow in trusting in his love for me, that golden September evening, I finally believed.  

Why bother believing in true love? When we believe in someone’s true love for us, it changes everything about us.