Express Gratitude

When I taught fourth grade in a public school, I kept the thank you notes that my students and their parents gave me. Some were long handwritten messages while others were cards with just the student’s signature. Either way, I kept them all.

I know some of my students were more motivated to write thank you notes than others. In general, the girls were far more expressive with their written language than the boys. 

Getting a card of thanks from one of the boys usually entailed a mother’s prompting. First thing in the morning, with no other child present in the classroom, the male child would walk up to my desk with their mother close behind as if to keep them from ditching or forgetting their task. With a shy smile they’d hand me an envelope and then turn and run out to the playground. 

I was grateful for those patient parents who knew the value of a hand written note of thanks. Parents who are grateful model for their offspring the virtue of gratitude. 

It was my mother who expected us to write thank you notes to our grandparents and godparents for birthday or Christmas gifts. Even though it was a rule I had to follow as a child, sending thank you notes became a heartfelt habit as I grew into an adult. 

I know the habit of writing thank you notes left an impression with my three sisters and me. But I don’t know if it left the same impression with my brothers. 

Though they are quick to say “thank you,” they are less prone to writing it in a note.

There are actual scientific studies that show that women benefit more from gratitude than men. “Men may associate gratitude with weakness, perhaps due to its relationship with indebtedness, and thus may report lower levels of gratitude.” (The Science of Gratitude)

Like my mother, I too taught my sons to write thank you notes. Yes, like me, they did it begrudgingly, but unlike me, it did not become a heartfelt habit in their adult years. They are not ungrateful, they just express their gratitude differently, with spoken words and a hug. 

I’m receptive to either; a note or a hug.

Why Bother?

Why bother being grateful for those who express gratitude? When we express our gratitude to someone, both the giver and the receiver benefit. The giver knows that the receiver will certainly appreciate them for gracing them with their gratitude and the receiver will feel valued as an individual. It’s a win-win kind of a deal.

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.