The Hard Things in Our Lives

It is hard not to resent the hardships that find their way into our lives; a rebellious teen, the loss of a child, or the loss of our health. But these hard things in life come so that we can learn how to endure through tough times.

Hardships can harden our hearts, foster bitterness, or make us more stubborn in our stance to win over something or at something. Hardships can also produce patience which in turn nurtures perseverance. 

I’ve heard the tongue in cheek idea that if we pray for patience we’ll get nothing but trials. But, trials happen regardless if we pray for patience or not. What we believe in the midst of the hardship, I think, is important and determines if bitterness, stubbornness, or patience and perseverance ensues. 

None of us have the privilege of choosing our adversities, afflictions, or ordeals nor do we have the power to prevent them. And I don’t think that the hardships we encounter are for nothing. They are for something.

Coming from the perspective of someone who believes in a sovereign, loving and personal God, the trials that I’ve encountered have had a way of shaking my faith up, causing me to question what I believe. 

More than anything, at the start of my faith journey, I discovered, during times of trouble, that my faith in God was quite shallow, naive and based on fairy tale thinking. For instance, when conflicts arose between my husband and I, I’d be shocked. Shouldn’t two people, who both believed in God actually be above marital conflict?

I discovered that everybody wants what they want and everybody has a stubborn streak. My marital conflicts taught me that sometimes I had to be the first one to yield, not because I was weaker, but because I knew it was an idea brought to me by God; I’d never think that one up on my own.  

While laboring to deliver our third born son, a still born child, I prayed for and expected a miracle; that the doctor was wrong. When the miracle didn’t happen, I wavered on the brink of giving up my faith.

I had a bone to pick with God and you can be I picked it. 

I asked, “why?” Why in the hell did you let me go full term just to deliver a dead child? Why couldn’t I have just miscarried earlier? Why did you even give me the desire to have another child? Why didn’t you let me be content with two? 

This is one of the many things I like about God. He allows us to pound on his chest without being offended. 

My “whys” were never answered. So I asked a different question, “What.” What do I do now? That one was answered; grieve and rest. I grieved and while grieving, I learned a little more about God’s sovereignty and that I’m not the blessed controller of much of anything.  

It is in and through trials that my shallow, naive and fairy tale faith has grown into something deeper, wiser and much more knowledgeable. I’m no longer flabbergasted when trials pop up, and quicker to acknowledge that they’ve come to accomplish patience and perseverance in my faith.

Why Bother?

Why bother being grateful for the hard things in our lives? As much as we’d like to bypass the hardships, we can be grateful when they come because if we allow them to, they can reveal what we believe and grow our faith.

P.S.  I wrote the story of my journey to forgiveness for those who, like me, know they need to change, but are not quite sure where to start. You can find A Heart’s Journey To Forgiveness at Redemption Press and Amazon.